If you’ve ever planned a wedding, you know how much work it can be. We’re not even in the thick of it yet and while I think we have a good handle on our November wedding (so far), we have no idea what to expect. We hear the stories about challenges and missteps we shouldn’t take. Regardless of the advice, I’m sure everyone makes their own path. In the end, a wedding usually ends up better than anticipated.
But what about marriage itself? We all know THAT can be a slippery slope – especially if you marry the wrong person. But even if it’s the right person there’s no doubt a lot of work, patience, support, commitment and compromise go into making a marriage thrive.
My parents arrived from Minnesota last weekend to hang out and talk all things wedding, life, getting older and hunting and fishing (Minnesota, remember!?). Oh, and they packed a bag full something any couple getting married desperately needs…advice.
They packed very well. My parents Greg and Mary celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary on Saturday.

Mary and Greg Benson celebrating 45 years of marriage.
Full disclosure, I forgot. After being awarded “The Worst Son Ever” award, Tara and I clanged wine glasses with them throughout the day. We enjoyed stories of their ‘glamourous’ honeymoon spent in a car en route to Chicago. Or the day of their wedding when my Mom remembers looking over at my Dad while they kneeled at the alter. He was tanned to oblivion thanks to his long days working construction. Thanks to a humid, Minnesota July, he’d been dripping his way to a small lake on the alter. We’ll never know if it was truly the heat, or the stress of saying ‘I do’.
But what we’ve learned from our parents (Tara’s parents Cindy and John will be celebrating 35 years in October) doesn’t come in the shape of words, phrases or verbal tongue-lashings. We get the best advice from watching. It’s funny that when you get older you start to realize things that never made sense before. Oh, THAT’S why he just got up and took the garbage out without arguing, or THAAT’s why she didn’t interject when he said he was planning another fishing trip. Compromise is a powerful thing. It’s one of many things we’ve picked up along the way while watching our parents.
My brother Mike reminded me that I’ll be in my 80s when I celebrate my 45th wedding anniversary. Thanks, Bro. When I’m celebrating, you’ll be 90 and telling me to change your diaper.
Regardless, give your parents a hug – whether they’re together or not. Tell them you love them. They may not always say it or show it, but they want the best for their kids.
Before writing this, I pulled a few grays out of my head and set them on the table to show off to Tara. Gross? Kinda. But it’s proof there’s no stopping time.
Thanks to our wonderful parents for teaching us and guiding the way. We love them more with each day.
And to make up for forgetting your 45th, we’ll throw a ragin’ party for your 50th!
John & Cindy
That’s so nice Josh. We look forward to the wonderful years ahead as your lives and love continue to be blessed.
John Manis
So happy that you and Tara were able to spend your parents 45th anniversary together and that you were able to show them where you and Tara will be starting yours. We can’t wait to celebrate that special day in November with you all.
Love
Father of the Bride
Stephanie Miranda
Unsolicited, but the best wedding advice I got was from a co-worker about a week before my wedding. She said, walk down the isle slowly. Take in that moment, embrace being surrounded by so much love. You’ll only do it once in your life. (And frankly, you’ll never fit into that dress again no matter how hard you try.) And at some point during the reception step outside for a breath of fresh air together. Just the two of you. Take 5 minutes to embrace the day, the moment, what you’ve accomplished and how it all came together. I tell ya, I don’t remember much about the wedding, it all went by so fast (and it really does). But I will never forget that 5 minutes we took away from everyone to stand there in that moment and say, we did it! When times get tough, and they will, when difficult decisions need to be made, and they do, when/if children come into the picture, and they may, it’s that moment that will pull you through. At least it has for us. We often speak about that moment and how much it still means to both of us. 50 years from now, ok let’s be realistic, 5 years from now, you won’t remember the flavor of the cake, the flowers on the tables or if someone fell on the dance floor, but you’ll always remember that quiet moment you shared. :)
Barb Tew
You have two wonderful examples of marriages filled with love and laughter. Having observed you two together, you are destined for the same! Can not wait for your wedding day!
Josh Benson
Thanks for the comments! Good stuff!